Vanity over comfort. This is the motto for a lot of people (women,especially), and this motto is most exemplified in the crazy, uncomfortable things that people will do just to look their best – “their best” being thin. I can’t claim to be innocent of this charge. I myself have gone through extremes in the name of weight loss, from nothing-after-6 to eat-only-when-hungry to apple cider vinegar pills to Southbeach to an-apple-a-day. While some of them did work, others not quite so much. Oh if you really must know, the most effective method was an-apple-a-day. No, it wasn’t as simple as adding an apple a day to my diet (to keep the doctor away), rather, an apple a day was all that I ate. I lost 2 inches off my waist in a span of a week. Don’t get so excited – it only works if you’re heartbroken, not in a normal frame and willing to starve (I would never recommend it).
Aside from that crazy diet that I unintentionally invented, there are crazier diets out there. Here are some of the most outrageous ones I’ve encountered (but haven’t tried, and don’t intend to):
When this method first hit the shelves, it became wildly popular and was the grandfather of all low carb diets. The premise of the diet is that we had been wrong all these years in presuming that fat is to blame for us getting fat. The bad guys in our meals are actually carbs. So to lose weight, we simply have to stop eating carbs – bread, rice, pasta, even fruits, right? Not quite so easy as it sounds, Doc. And there’s something suspicious about a diet that requires you to completely cut off a major bulk of the food pyramid. Though people have indeed lost weight using the diet, it wasn’t sustainable, so when they stopped dieting, all the weight just came back. The diet is still around and has been updated and changed. But, as Rachel’s sister told her in the TV series Friends, “carbs found her.”
This diet claims to help you lose up to 10 lbs in a single week, so why not, right? It has a 7 day eating plan that kicks off with just cabbage soup and fruit for the first day, then gradually adding other kinds of food as the week progresses. It’s named the cabbage soup diet for a reason – because that’s mostly what you will be eating in 7 days. Not only is it inconvenient to have to cook batches of the soup daily and carry it with you everywhere you go (popcorn? no thanks, I brought my soup to the movie house), but it’s also the perfect recipe for hunger pangs. It’s not sustainable; even the website itself claims that this is not suitable for long term weight loss. Also, I personally know someone who went on this diet for her wedding and while she was ecstatic about losing weight, she looked haggard and unhealthy and then she got sick. Minus 1000 beauty points.
This claims to be such a simple program. You just need to make a concoction of lemon juice, maple syrup, cayenne pepper and water and drink it whenever you’re hungry. As if this isn’t unhealthy enough, you’re supposed to take a laxative every morning and evening. It’s popular, all right. Beyonce apparently used this method to get that dream body for Dream Girls. But she says she won’t do it again. A satire of this method was also mentioned as the diet used by the Cheerios cheerleaders in the popular musical television show Glee. It highlighted just how silly this way of losing weight is.
We have always told that fiber is very good for the body and that bulking up on it is a sure-fire way of losing weight.
Someone took the word “fiber” way too literally and had what they thought must be some sort of epiphany. “Hey doesn’t cotton have fiber? And aren’t cotton balls low calorie?” I am sure you can assume what happened next. Do we even need to explain how unpalatable this idea – and meal – is?
Now we know that the tapeworm is a parasite that feeds on the food that you eat if you have it in your body, depriving you of some nutrients. So if you want to lose weight but you don’t want to change your eating habits, why not adopt a pet tapeworm in your body? All you need to do is pop a pill with some tapeworm cysts and you’re good to go. Aside from the fact that tapeworms are disgusting creatures and having them in your body is a completely unhealthy thing from a medical standpoint, once you flush it out of your system with meds (that is, if you can), you will not have adopted a good eating lifestyle and would therefore balloon back to your previous weight.
Sleeping Beauty Diet
It’s very hard to avoid temptations and ignore the hunger pangs while you’re awake, so some wise guy came up with a brilliant idea – hey, why not go under heavy sedation to sleep off the pounds? Crazy as it may sound, someone actually tried it out – the legendary Elvis Presley was apparently a fan of this around the time that he was having trouble squeezing into his signature white jumpsuits.
So there you go. Have you ever tried any one of those diets or are you planning to try any? What’s the craziest thing you ever did just to lose weight? Share it with me in the comments section. I won’t judge you.